Pot Kicks

It seemed wholly appropriate, with the World Cup only weeks away, to stage a potato penalty shoot-out in our very own Stadium of Cookery. Admittedly it was somewhat different than the usual English pratfall and I doubt FIFA will be adopting it anytime soon but it suits the purpose of this article and thus it will be so. Each player, of which there are five, will have two perfectly cooked new potatoes placed in front of them. One Jersey Royal and one of Thanet’s finest (courtesy of Farmer Richard Ash). Now, as great as these little orbs are they need some help so we’ve added a slice of quiche and a lightly dressed salad to complete an enticing summertime tea. First up to the table is Father-in-law. He’s somewhat picky so a good lead off man to set the tone. He much prefers Thanet. 1-0. Our next player is Mrs Gannet. She’s a new potato aficionado and probably the most experienced player on the team. On balance she opts for Jersey. 1-1. Third to tuck in is Mother-in-law (no jokes please, she’s lovely). She likes the nutty taste and goes for Jersey too. 1-2. I’m next up with the cutlery. Mrs G serves so I don’t know which is which. I’m surprised by how much I like them, as I’m not normally a fan. I pick Thanet for its satisfying finish, which ties it all up. As in all good penalty shoot-outs there needs to be a fifth and that honour falls to new potato newbie Tilly – my two year old. Diners don’t get more fickle than this. She pushes them both round the plate for a few minutes and then leaves. Hmm. So for the first time ever we’ve got a penalty shoot out draw. Guess you’ll have to make up your own minds but please do your best to get behind our team this summer.